Blog: Wistful But Optimistic

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Wistful But Optimistic - Monday, October 14, 2024
This past Friday was my last day with Pure. Since moving to SoCal, I've been fortunate to have been working remotely for 3 months. But alas, the company denied my manager's request for me to be permanently remote, as the executives have been pushing to have everybody back in the office and are apparently not granting any new requests for permanent remote positions. We knew that this would be the most likely outcome when I decided to move.

I could've stayed and made them fire me, but I didn't want to make life difficult for my manager, and I gathered that they probably would have fired me with cause due to non-compliance, so I left voluntarily. This means that I don't get severance or unemployment, but I do get 90 days to exercise my stock options. A dismissal with cause would've meant losing my options (as well as no severance or unemployment).

So for my final two days, I visited the office in order to see my coworkers one more time. Priscilla and I drove up Wednesday, this time taking the 101 because it's now the most direct route for us, and the drive wasn't too bad save for a couple places where there was construction.

I had lunch with some team members on both Thursday and Friday, and my manager arranged a farewell get-together with our combined team Thursday evening. Some team members even came into the office when they would normally be working from home, just so that they could say goodbye. It was great to hang out with people one last time, and people were really kind and encouraging. Our team has been the best part of working at Pure and we've always supported one another. I'm going to miss everyone but I hope to visit again.

When people would ask me how I'm feeling, I would say that I'm wistful but optimistic. I've been with the company over 11.5 years and have been part of its culture and growth. There's so much that I didn't get to do that I wish I'd had the time for, and there's so much more that I did get to do that I will treasure forever. I enjoyed the ski trips, holiday parties, board games with my team, foraging for leftover lunches with fellow-minded teammates, the fun antics, mentoring 8 people, and being part of the amazing work that my team has done to make the rest of engineering more productive.

At the same time, I've been feeling somewhat burned out for the past several years, feeling like the work that I do often doesn't really matter. I'm planning to take at least a few months off before thinking about finding another job. It will be nice to finally be able to sleep more, train more, and have time for all the things that I've been wanting to do. Work would often leave me drained by the end of the day, lacking the energy to do things requiring much effort. I have a lot of things that I want to do now that I have an extra 30 to 40 hours a week.

We're fortunate to have reached our goal for financial independence, largely thanks to my job at Pure, and we're incredibly grateful for that. I'm hoping that I will be intentional with how I use my time and that it will be not just for bettering myself but also serving others. I don't know for sure that I will actually want to find another job, but if I do, it will be because I want to rather than because I have to. If I do find another job, I'm hoping that it will be at some sort of Christian/humanitarian non-profit, ideally still doing software development, where I feel like I'm making more of an impact in people's lives. Regardless of what I end up doing, I hope that it will be purpose-driven. If it's not working at a job, then that time should be spent doing something even more purposeful.

While I was working on Friday, Priscilla hung out with old church friends. Saturday, she had lunch with old coworkers and then we brought dinner to my uncle and aunt. And yesterday we visited our old church, caught up with people there, had pho for lunch with Randy and Eva, and then brought dinner to my other uncle and aunt and picked up some stuff that we'd left at their place.

It also seems like we're entering the season of helping parents more. Priscilla's uncle passed away last week and the funeral will be at CCAC later this month. Priscilla's dad can't drive and her mom isn't comfortable driving that far, so we're going to be staying with them for two days so that we can all go to the funeral together. Eventually they will need more help more frequently. So part of living purposefully will mean being more involved in parents' lives, particularly through the hardest times.

We'll have a lot to figure out. But for the first time in a long while, it feels more manageable now.