Blog: Love

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Love - Monday, November 13, 2006
I'm about to delve into a long rant about the meaning of love. If you find such topics or analyses boring, turn back now! Otherwise, enjoy reading all the juicy details of my personal feelings.

It wasn't the first time by far, but I've been thinking about this topic today and it occurred to me that being in love with somebody and loving somebody are not the same things.

Being in love is a feeling. Falling and being in love with somebody is as natural as falling out of love with them. Being in love arises as a response to an attraction. It usually is ascribed to a relationship with a significant other. In the here and now, life is great. But when things go south, the relationship is not guaranteed to last.

Loving a person, on the other hand, is a commitment, and it is unconditional. Real love finds you caring about a person so much, that you elevate their wellbeing above your own. You value them for who they are, in spite of their faults and weaknesses. There is nothing that you would not be willing to give up for them, be it even your own life. You have nothing to hide from them, you come before them being completely open and vulnerable. Real love does not have an end. Not because of illness, situations, or conflict. You don't have to be perfect (that might be just a bit hard for most of us), but you do have to give it your all.

How many people get married truly meaning the words "for better or for worse, till death do us part"? My guess is that if everybody really meant it, divorce lawyers would be out of business. Real love is a commitment. How many marriages fall through because one or both partners are not committed?

If I ever have a girlfriend, I will not tell her that I love her, because the truth is- I won't. No matter how I think I feel, a dating relationship is conditional. Only after marriage would the words "I love you" not be a blatant lie.

There are three people whom I should be able to say I love: my father, my mother, and my brother. I realize how very distant this concept of love is to what my actions are, and where my heart lies. I want to be able to say that I love them. This is something I need to work for immensely.